Tired out

More blogs have gone down. In case that you are one of those that actually click on the links on the left, you would have realised that many of the links to the blogs that I used to read have shut down or gone into personal friends only mode. Maybe I should change the links to 2 categories. “Blogs I vist” and “Blogs I USED to visit”

Anyway, have been very tired out recently over everything. If you asked me to put my finger on what exactly is tiring me out, I honestly can’t give you an answer. I am not sure of it myself. Is it the long hours? Is it the pressure to produce the results? Has it got anything to do with some of the horrible people in the office making life miserable for me? Or has it got something to do with the fact that I have hardly seen and spent any time talking or hanging out with my friends and I am in HUGE need of a bit of social contact? I guess I just don’t know.

Have tried over the past week to make some arrangements with some close friends, trying to make some dedicated time to spend with them but then it always has to be cancelled in the end because I can’t fit the time into the appointment or I am too pressed for time.

Is this what working life is going to be like once I leave school? I sure hope not, but that hope is not looking too bright at the moment. Everything is a rat race out there. It is no longer as simple as you do your work and then deliver the results, you can work 9 to 5 everyday anymore. There is a lot of hidden undercurrent that makes life a lot more difficult and complicated that it seems on the surface. Even if your boss was happy with what you are doing and the results that you are delivering, there will be those who are putting in more hours than you. One may say why should we care about how much effort they put in when we are delivering our fair share of results. Well, its not as simple as that. Even if they are not producing stuff, they can still start to make your life miserable for you by talking behind your back saying how you are always gone on the clock and all that. After some time, it does not seem to matter anymore how much more work you have produced compared to those that stay back late and produced nothing. Others will start to look at you as the clock watcher. Why do people do such things, I just don’t understand. Can’t they just live their own life and let the others live their own lives?

I need a break. I need some time to myself and myself only…. If not, I wonder how much longer my sanity will last……….

Maybe I am developing the chronic fatigue syndrome.