A really well written bit that was sent to me by a freind.
Thought I'll share it.
Have the flowers gone?
by Pradeep Paul
STRAIGHT TALK
YOU don't bring me flowers anymore.
Whoa, danger signal, guys.
If you've had that line thrown at you by your woman - be it girlfriend
or wife - recently, you're in big trouble.
It doesn't even have to be those exact words. But you can bet your last
dollar that they will be accompanied by a puppy-dog look, complete with
big sorrowful eyes and pouting lips.
You know the look. It's the one that makes men wish they'd read that
Venus and Mars book.
But hold on. Is she justified? Have you bought her flowers of late?
No, right?
In fact, have you done anything special for her of late?
That's right, scratch your head and think.
Of course, the key word here is special. What is special to a new
couple may be ho-hum to one that has pictures of their silver wedding
anniversary on the wall.
To a new couple, almost every act is special. You call her every half
hour, it's soooo caring.
Call your spouse of 10 years every half hour, it's harassment.
To a new couple, a lingering look at each other is special.
To a much-married couple, that same look may just signal misplaced
bifocals.
To a new couple, sharing an ice-cream is soooo sweet, so special.
To a much-married couple, it's sacrifice. One likes chocolate. The
other prefers strawberry.
But is this true? Are we - men and women - guilty of taking our
partners for granted? Do we stop doing anything special once the thrill
of the chase has dissipated?
In a way, yes.
We fall into our routines. We get busy with work, children, whatever.
We assume the other person knows we care. And we sometimes stop doing
the things we used to do in the early stages of the relationship.
Both men and women are guilty of it, but men are more easily
distracted. Sure, the woman may not be stroking his ego that much any
more but, hey, there's so much to watch on telly like that Man U game
and those hot gals on Are You Hot?.
But women don't lose the plot so easily. They stay focused on the
issue, they simmer, come to a slow boil and finally let it bubble over.
They need resolution.
Which is when you hear that dreaded line.
But, in truth, is she justified?
After all, we - again, men and women - do many small things in the
course of a day to show we love and care.
They may seem minor, even insignificant. But they count.
Think about these examples that you may or may not have done:
Waking up early every morning to make your partner a cup of tea.
Dragging yourself out of bed early on your day off just to drive your
partner to work.
Sitting through a movie that you hate, just because your partner is
dying to see it.
Wearing an item of clothing that he bought you, even though it is not
comfortable or the right shade or (gasp) makes you look fat.
Keeping a smile on your face - and enough beer in the fridge - when the
in-laws visit every week.
Taking the car for servicing even though she uses it most of the time.
Cooking him his favourite dish, even though you're on a killer diet.
Sacrificing a game of golf or soccer to help her with an assignment from
the course she's taking.
Okay, not all these examples may impress you. But I'm pretty sure at
least a couple will make you sit up and hear me.
Every couple has their own formula. He will do some things, and she
does other things.
The problem is we get so used to it, we don't even notice it anymore.
It's par for the course.
It's not just about flowers.
Let's change that. There's nothing like letting your loved one know
that you appreciate what he or she is doing for you, however mundane it
may be.
And, guys, some flowers may not be a bad call either.
Send your comments to stlife@sph.com.sg
IP Address:155.198.17.122


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